bemusedlybespectacled:

This is Stephen Motherfucking Thompson.

Don’t know who he is? You should.

This is the man who wrote “The Reichenbach Fall.”

All your tears? All your crying? All your anguished cries to an unfeeling god?

ALL. HIS. FAULT.

Don’t blame Moffat or Gatiss. Your anger is misdirected. You should be blaming this man right here for your emotional instability and general angst.

You might also know him as the guy who wrote “The Blind Banker,” also known as “that really weak episode in between ‘A Study In Pink’ and ‘The Great Game.’” But don’t be fooled! Though Stephen Motherfucking Thompson is an expert at hiding behind the relative greatness of Moffat and Gatiss, he is, in fact, the greatest troll of them all. And here is why:

Stephen Thompson is the greatest Johnlock shipper of them all.

What’s that you say? You think it’s Gatiss? Please. Did Gatiss write this?

Sherlock Holmes: I need to get some air - we’re going out tonight. 
 Dr John Watson: Actually, I’ve got a date. 
Sherlock Holmes: What? 
Dr John Watson: It’s where two people who like each other go out and have fun? 
Sherlock Holmes: That’s what I was suggesting. 
Dr John Watson: …No, it wasn’t. At least I hope not.

Did Gatiss write this?

Sherlock Holmes: Here, take my hand.
Dr John Watson: Now people will definitely talk.

Did Gatiss write this?

Sherlock Holmes: Nobody could be that clever.
Dr John Watson: You could.

Did Gatiss pen these immortal lines?

Dr John Watson: You … you told me once that you weren’t a hero. Umm … there were times I didn’t even think you were human, but let me tell you this: you were the best man, and the most human … human being that I’ve ever known and no-one will ever convince me that you told me a lie, and so … There. I was so alone, and I owe you so much. Okay.
(He turns and starts to walk away but only reaches the foot of the grave before he turns back again.)
Dr John Watson: No, please, there’s just one more thing, okay, one more thing: one more miracle, Sherlock, for me. Don’t … be … dead. Would you do …? Just for me, just stop it. (He gestures down at the grave.) Stop this.

These scenes? Thompson.

But wait, there’s more!

Who told Molly that she counted?

Who punched Lestrade’s superior in the face?

Who put Moriarty in a crown?

Who’s kept us guessing and analyzing every single moment of that episode, looking to see how he did it?

Stephen Motherfucking Thompson, bitches.

And this is why Thompson is the greatest troll: he does all this, writes all these scenes, tears our hearts out and stomps on them, and then lets us blame it all on Moffat and Gatiss. Well, no more!

NO MORE SHALL HE COWER BEHIND HIS COLLEAGUES.

NO MORE SHALL HE PRETEND THAT HE IS A LESSER WRITER.

NO MORE SHALL WE ALLOW HIM TO TURN OUR EMOTIONS INTO JELLY AND LET HIM GET AWAY WITH IT WITHOUT ANY SORT OF RECOGNITION.

Stephen Motherfucking Thompson: